What happened to your etiquette, ladies?!

20 Oct

Today I went to Barnes N Noble, and of course, my daughter needed to go to the bathroom.  I try to avoid going to their bathroom.  I avoid going to public bathrooms, period.  But with kids, it’s unavoidable.

I already know the stench, and the filthiness that we are walking into.  We walk in, and the air is stinky, the floor is wet…yuk!  Then, I see in one of the stalls, a purse on the floor!  You know there’s a purse hanger on the door?  I’ve seen other ladies do that.  They just drop their purses right there on the bathroom floor with all the splatter of who knows what liquid that is… eek!  When they are done, they just pick that purse off that filthy floor, and who knows where they place that purse next?  When they get home, they probably place it on a kitchen counter, or the dining table, or who knows, it ends up on the floor again.  I’m sure they are the type that is fine with shoes on the bed.  I’m Japanese, and it is Japanese custom to take off the shoes before going into the house.  It is taboo for me to have shoes in the house.  It makes me very uncomfortable to walk into someone’s home with shoes when they have carpet.  When I see people with shoes on the bed, it really irks me.  Okay, going off the subject…

Anyway, my point is, most of the public bathrooms are disgusting.  Ladies, please clean off the splatter you made on the toilet seat, and please flush.  PLEASE FLUSH!  Don’t you flush at home?  When your papertowels do not land in the garbage, please have some etiquette to pick it up and put it where it should be.  Thank you!


3 Responses to “What happened to your etiquette, ladies?!”

  1. Jon-Paul October 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm #

    Dear busybeecraftymama,

    Please try to relax; I remember when I first started my associates and colleagues would tell me (almost demanding!) “hey this is a marathon…not the 100 meter dash! I am sure you understand that just as all people are different, that notion holds true with the inner teacher as well. Just a very early and thoughtful suggestion: try if possible to be as patient, kind, and open with your son’s new teacher. Remember this person is perhaps a bit overwhelmed with class size (42 students) as well as she hasn’t fallen into good marathon form just yet.

    Many teachers are not blessed with the practice of good communication skills – however, not to be misunderstood as such in their professional lives. My own sister was in elementary (primary) education for over 35-years! I used to joke with her relentlessly about how on earth could she do it? Seriously I have filled-in for teacher friends, or for the school and have taken the challenge trying to teach 1st…4th graders and it is an art; moreover, it’s an art I know absolutely nothing about. Mind you simply for the sake of being a multi-degree holder I do understand how individuals learn, what behaviors to expect from them, and particularly if they are responding to something I’ve said or done.
    I just do not have the patience for it…and I literally praise those who do! Actually I wrote this next part especially for you:

    Teachers, educators, and the like are human beings too just as we are with the exception that their work week normally runs 6-days and as much as 60 or more hours per week. Being the wonderful human being that you are especially with your hands-on and enthusiasm for your son and his education.

    The answer therefore really lies in you – you should be spending as much time with your son as he needs for you to assist him. In my career as an educator parents had the hardest time understanding that learning is optimal during these and the forthcoming years in your child(s) life; subsequently, so is the relationship that you and he bring to your learning sessions. Btw, no I do not feel that an entire national education system should be characterized by slack or otherwise lazy or untalkative teachers. This is a unique time in you and your son’s developing lives…take advantage of this quality time. One more thing; it is not at all unusual for attitudes toward teachers or schools to change as children get older. Thank you…


    • busybeecraftymama October 23, 2012 at 12:40 am #

      First and foremost, I hold highest respect to the teaching profession. Both my grandparents were teachers/professors all their life. It is an art of skill, and like my grandparents, some people are just born with it, they love it, they are passionate about it. I know my grandparents were good in what they do, because they still get visited by students they taught decades ago.

      As I mentioned on my previous comment, I had a wonderful teacher-parent relationship with the previous teacher. She will probably be in our lives for a very long time as someone that really made an impact in my son’s life. She really was an inspirational teacher, so much so that us parents petitioned to have her move up to 1st grade as a class. Many parents that had older kids used to say that she is a rare kind. People that worked in the school office had also mentioned she is one in a million. We were very lucky.

      The first few weeks of the new school year, I was an emotional wreck, very stressed out, very frustrated, and nervous. One of the reason was that my son’s class has 42 students, (there are 2 classes in one room) and 2 teachers co-teaching. I know with all these young kids in the room, it is a task in itself just to learn everyone’s names. I am very friendly with the teachers. I offered to volunteer, I say hi to her everyday, I try to have a good interaction, because I am certain that it will positively affect my son. All I’m trying to establish here is an open communication with the teacher. I want to know what my son is learning day to day. I want to know how he is doing in class. However, it is just not working. Now, I have backed off, sort of accepted the fact that my son’s teacher is the way she is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. It’s just her character, her personality. She just isn’t the open, informative kind of a person. My friend (who is a teacher) told me, “sometimes, no news is good news.” and judging by my son’s report card, it looks great. That is why I kind of backed off. I sit with him to do all the homework, and extra studies every day. I really feel I do my part, so that is what makes me feel ok.

      Obviously, I am very new at this. This whole school thing is way more complicated than I imagined, because of the different dynamics involved, and I guess I’ll just have to take it as it comes… I’m going to try to “relax” a bit…

      • Jon-Paul October 23, 2012 at 3:39 am #

        Dear busybeecrafymama:

        It is so lovely to have received your response so quickly! It is very easy to see and perceive that you are a very in-to-it mom with your family, and I respect those values more than I could ever say or write. However, I feel that communicating them is important – both to you (in praise) and for me especially to learn.

        My goodness gracious! Wow, it really appears that the beginning of this academic year was enough to frighten even those most seasoned professionals. Especially if I understand you correctly regarding that there is one shared classroom housing two different classes and the teachers are somehow co-teaching. If this is the situation I can feel your frustration and anxiety levels skyrocketing! This as you have experienced is notwithstanding one of the most difficult situations in a young teacher’s life. Unless they are of multiple experiences I hope and pray that their feelings of being overwhelmed do not envelop them.

        I can see that you are any teacher’s dream of a parent; certainly mine. Personally I have a difficult time with the Nation’s Public School System insofar as the proper people are not making the decisions pursuant to standards of learning; furthermore, my feeling is that administrator’s want far too much glory for what they have not earned and they cave-in every time to the wrong people.

        This may come as a surprise to you, yet much of my blame for the conditions of public schools comes directly from those parents, who are bored, think they know something about education, and relentlessly go about their ways until they get their way.
        This have been uniquely verified within certain portions of the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) whereby parents have taken full charge of truancy, lateness to class, what student’s are doing off campus – together, as well as organizing patrols that are out like police law enforcement officials (that they are not) “contributing” to their children’s education.

        Nothing about this arrangement sounds reassuring or conducive to a home environment that student’s with their parents share together.

        Just one last matter and I’ll shut up forever: If you want to know what your child is doing day to day in class my very first suggestion would be to ask your child. There is no better way to understand what he’s going through and learning than hearing it straight from him. If you fail to get the satisfactory answers from him then by all means set up and make an appointment to sit and chat with his teacher. Furthermore, call and go in for a visit. I always loved when parents would show their interest in their children’s learning; plus it gave me a short time to show my wares as an educator.

        I think your friend (the other teacher) gave some good advice. This also may be a way of your son’s teacher letting you know how she operates. Thank you again.

        Kindest regards,


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